Translation of clíper

The script I am writing will shuffle the 1.5 million words and it will detect if too many words are from the same user. And if an entry is too long, I will skip it and rely on the sentences that we can hopefully make up together.
Well, you're already here ... would you ever have thought that I'm a member in facebook? You are a funny guy. What else is happening? Did you already settle down in your new country of choice?
Today it is Sunday and I am very lazy. My daughter is 5 years old and she still needs her mother. So be ready, even if you are outside! I'm a sleepy! Could you do this?